Crap I Always Notice

March 4, 1937 - December 20, 2010

2010-12-21T10:29:00.005-06:00

Last night, at 7:15pm, my mother finished her fight on this earth. God sent his angels and family members to usher my mother home. She'd been sick for the past six years, with this last year being really taxing. She'd been in and out the hospital since November with an infection due to the port for her dialysis.

My mother was a strong woman, she fought til the bitter end. Even when her heart was slowing down, it would speed up for a second or so and start to slow down again. What had started out that morning was to be a meeting with her doctors for decisions on when to move her to hospice, ended with us saying goodbye.

She'd been on a ventilator for the past few days, that's when I knew it was close to the end. We met with the hospice care nurse and signed some paper work. I remained at my mother's side while my father left. He couldn't take it, it was too much for him. My sister went home to change her clothes and get food. I remained, holding her hand and having my last conversation with her.

They were ready to unhook everything by 4pm. I was going to let them do it, but then I felt that she wouldn't have held on long enough, so I asked if we could wait until my sister returned. By 5:30, my sister was back with two of our life long friends. At that point my mother was awake! Her eyes were fully open and she started squeezing my hand. We were talking, joking about old memories and she intently listened to everything.

At about 6pm, we finally removed everything. They gave her more morphine and an oxygen line and at that point we comforted my mother to sleep. Her breathing became more labored and shallow. My mommy went with a smile on her face. She knew everything was going to be ok. I felt her go through the gamut of emotions with no words. She was sad, afraid, content and happy within that hour. Once she knew we were ready to let her go, she was glad.

My mommy was strong, even at the time of her death, she shook her head for us to stop crying. She spent part of her last time on this earth consoling us. When she realized everything was going to be ok, she started closing her eyes. Before her eyes fully closed, she gave us a few smiles, squeezed our hands and went to sleep for good.

My sister said it seems like I went to the acceptance phase really quick. But I've been preparing myself ever since she returned to the hospital because in my spirit I just knew, but I was still in denial it was happening

My mother was always one for teaching and in those last moments she gave me one last lesson. I learned one thing about death. It wasn't about us, this was about her and us doing what she needed to be done at that moment. We needed to be sure she was comfortable and reassured that it was ok for her to go and not to worry about us.

My mommy held on for over 6 years, that's a long time to be sick and in pain. And the entire time she never complained, never fussed. I've been up most of the night crying, but more so the peace on her face when she went. At that moment I felt her love and her peace. She was ready to go with our blessings.

I will always remember the peaceful smile that crossed her face as she squeezed my hand that one last time. It is a beautiful memory. A beautiful memory for a beautiful person.

RIP, Mommy. I love you. I always will.
-

The Sit-down-hoe Award Goes To...

2010-10-22T10:34:00.007-05:00

WASHINGTON — Nearly 20 years after Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his contentious Supreme Court confirmation hearings, Justice Thomas’s wife has called Ms. Hill, seeking an apology.

In a voice mail message left at 7:31 a.m. on Oct. 9, a Saturday, Virginia Thomas asked her husband’s former aide-turned-adversary to make amends. Ms. Hill played the recording, from her voice mail at Brandeis University, for The New York Times.

“Good morning Anita Hill, it’s Ginni Thomas,” it said. “I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.”

Ms. Thomas went on: “So give it some thought. And certainly pray about this and hope that one day you will help us understand why you did what you did. O.K., have a good day.”

Ms. Hill, in an interview, said she had kept the message for nearly a week trying to decide whether the caller really was Ms. Thomas or a prankster. Unsure, she said, she decided to turn it over to the Brandeis campus police with a request to convey it the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

“I thought it was certainly inappropriate,” Ms. Hill said. “It came in at 7:30 a.m. on my office phone from somebody I didn’t know, and she is asking for an apology. It was not invited. There was no background for it.”

In a statement conveyed through a publicist, Ms. Thomas confirmed leaving the message, which she portrayed as a peacemaking gesture. She did not explain its timing.

“I did place a call to Ms. Hill at her office extending an olive branch to her after all these years, in hopes that we could ultimately get past what happened so long ago,” she said. “That offer still stands. I would be very happy to meet and talk with her if she would be willing to do the same. Certainly no offense was ever intended.”

In response to Ms. Thomas’s statement, Ms. Hill said that she had testified truthfully about her experiences with the future Justice Thomas and that she had nothing to apologize for.

This heffa here!

She actually had the GALL to call Ms. Hill TWENTY years later after this incident to demand an apology? Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit! Not only did Ginni had the nerve to call her, she called her at HER JOB!

At her JOB!

If you're looking for a sure fire way to get that azz beat, call a sista's job starting some mess. I wonder what lead to this phone call? A fight in which Anita's name was brought up was probably the reason. I mean really, talk about not letting it go!

What on earth possessed Ginni to call her and at 7:30 in the morning at that! Has she been thinking all these years that Anita was lying? Even though Anita took a polygraph test and PASSED.

I briefly remember Anita sitting before the panel testifying what happened and the insults she took to her character during this and she never broke a sweat. She was called a liar, said she was romantically obsessed with Clarence Thomas and was even called a lesbian! o.O During the testifying, it was ol Long dong silver who looked like he was ready to throw up at any minute.

How is she offering an olive branch by demanding an apology? That doesn't sound right. So if I beat somebody up, I can demand an apology disguised as an attempt to make peace. "Hey, maybe you should apologize for bleeding all over my hands while I was kicking your ass!"

Then again I'm not surprised. Ol Ginni is a known tea party supporter and we all know how mentally unhinged some of that fringe can be.

The Sit down hoe award for 2010 goes to Ginni Thomas. Let it go chick, just let it go!

One Ass Whooping Needed

2010-10-08T21:12:00.005-05:00

Parents: Dying Girl, 7, Taunted by Neighbors in Trenton
TRENTON, Mich. - Her family says 7-year-old Kathleen Edward is in the final stages of a degenerative brain disorder diagnosed as Huntington's Disease - the same disease which killed her mother, Laura, when she was only 24.

Neighbors Jennifer and Scott Petkov, who have been feuding with the family, admitted to posting grim depictions of Laura and Kathleen on Facebook. One photo depicts Laura in the arms of the grim reaper, while the other features Kathleen's face above a set of crossbones.

The couple also have a coffin hitched to a pick-up truck in front of the house, which they say is nothing more than a halloween decoration.
Police responded to the public feud Thursday, but no arrests were made.

The big question: why would someone do this? Police tell Ron Savage they have been called to this street before, dealing with long-standing "family-feud" issues.

A member of Kathleen's family says the bad blood started about two-years ago after the two families had a falling out over a birthday party at the Rose house. At the party kids were using a "bounce-house" and playing games in the front yard. The source says that Jennifer Petkov texted someone in the Rose family, asking if her kids could come to the event. A response to the text did not come quickly enough and it angered Jennifer. According to the Rose family, she's been harassing them ever since.

A rally for Kathleen Edward has been planned for Saturday, Oct. 23 from 3 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. at Haas Park in Trenton.

The invitation reads: "She has been tormented by sadistic neighbors. Please come and join us in showing Kathleen there are good people that care."

...

o.O

O.O

Wait a second.

Did I just read this right?

*blinks*

This family is taunting a little girl who is dying of the SAME disease that killed her mother over a fucking children's birthday party? Not only that, this rabid twat is posting made up death pics of the girl and her deceased mother on facebook!

*pointing* This shit right here!

This right here is the reason I once said we need jump squads. Just a group of random folks to pop out the woodwork and commence to beating some ass!

I got a dollar right here that I'm willing to bet that this family is the one on the block that is always keeping shit up. Kids outta control, getting drunk having loud parties and just disrespect other's property.

Just watching 2 minutes of this clip made ME want to jump through my monitor and slap the cowboy shit outta Jennifer. She seems like one of those people that would make my mother say, "she ain't had her ass beat yet!" Look at the smug ass expression on her face, this heffa thinks this shit is ok! AND SHE'S SOMEBODY'S MOTHER!

What kind of role model is she being to her child/children? If something upsets you, no matter how fucking petty, act like a bitch for personal satisfaction? PARENTING FAIL!

As of now, I bet she's had to shut down her facebook because I bet that thing blew up like the three mile island disaster! When I searched, it said this person didn't exist. Hell, her dumb ass is probably getting death threats!

This stupidity over WHY she's doing this just makes me facepalm. In fact, I give this hoe 5 doublefacepalms.

Technicolor Dreams and Their Meanings

2010-08-15T18:01:00.006-05:00

I've been slowly getting myself back together after dealing with the ex. This morning, I had a rather vivid dream that I felt was telling me alot about my situation and myself. The dream was quite complex, but at the same time so beautiful that still thinking about it brings me to tears.

The dream starts as I'm at the last week of college. I've already graduated and I'm now preparing to venture out into life. My college had a drug ring going on. I caught wind of it and approached the Chancellor (read Dean) and told him what happened. The Chancellor didn't believe me and brushed me off as if I was making this up. The leader of the drug ring found out I was basically snitching and instead of killing me, gave me a very posh apartment on the promise that I'd never tell anyone else.

My male friend (let's call him John) had decided to move away to the 'city' with me. I'd mentioned Minneapolis once, but afterwards I just called it the city. Meanwhile there was a huge party on campus similar to a carnival. Students, professors, visitors all were dressed in costumes. I didn't have a costume on because I was leaving that same night. Somehow, I set the drug leader up to have the Chancellor overhear what he was talking about.

The Chancellor apologized to me profusely saying, "I'm so sorry. I didn't believe you. I should have believed you when you first told me." I shook his hand and left. To exit the building, I had to go through another room to reach the main door. The room was filled to the brim with scarves.

Scarves?

Yes, scarves.

Scarves all colors of the rainbow! Some were plain colors, others had designs, embroideries. Some were silk, others lace. Some were small and some were big. It was if I was dumped into a rainbow sea. It was very difficult to get through the room because I was slipping on scarves, slipping to the floor, sliding into the wall and finding myself upside down. It was almost confusing, but I pressed on. After basically swimming through the rainbow sea, I finally reached the door and exited the building.

Upon reaching outside, I saw my older sister! She told me she was leaving to head back to Chicago so she could make it back to work. In my hand I was holding a scarf that was white, with a green border design and in the middle inside a green box with white lettering it said: "Tory is going to be alright." She cooed over how beautiful the scarf was, tied it on her head and left.

I looked down and noticed I had scarves tied to me. I had purple scarves on my ankles, a gold one around my waist, blue ones on my wrists and I wore a red/gold scarf on my head. The red scarf was large and almost like a cowl/cape and had gold borders like an Aztec design. I started walking to the U-Haul truck where John was waiting for me. As I was walking, I started to sing.

"Ay, ay, ay, ay,
Canta y no llores,
Porque cantando se alegran,
Cielito lindo, los corazones."

As I'm singing and walking, a mariachi band comes across the street and starts playing and singing along! Now we're walking and singing and the colors start to stream from the scarves, leaving a rainbow trail behind me. Almost like spilled paint, the colors pool through the air, floating as we're singing and walking. I continue to walk and the band only follows so far. As they stop and continue to play, I walk off leaving the trail of rainbows as I get into the U-Haul with John and drive away.

The colors were so beautiful and the peaceful feeling I had left me waking up in tears. Even now as I recall the dream, I start to tear up. I'm tearing up as I'm typing this. I think the dream represents the situation I'm currently going through with my ex.

About a year ago, he dumped me TWICE, but continued to hang on as if nothing had changed. Of course, me having feelings for him was content with the situation. About that same time, about a month after being dumped, I met John. John has become like my companion because we do alot of silly stuff together. John has recently got out of a jacked up relationship himself.

This is how I felt the dream went.

John = Helping me move on. Hence the U-Haul truck and just going to the 'city' The city could represent anything like life, new place, new place IN life.

Chancellor = my ex. Because my ex had dumped me twice, but kept holding on because every time I wanted to part ways for good, he would either not listen or just hang on.

Scarves = I was told these could represent various chakras.

Purple - Chakra 6: Ajna The sixth chakra is located between the eyebrows at the third eye position relating to mind, intuition, and heightened self awareness. Violet is the color here. Insufficient amounts of energy here can cause a person to be oversensitive and afraid of success.
Blue - Chakra 5: Vishuddha The fifth chakra is located at the throat and relates to communication, creativity, and self identification. The color here is blue. A blocked chakra here can cause a person to be devious and manipulative.
Gold - Chakra 3: Manipura The third chakra is located at the solar plexus and relates to will, power, and social identification. This chakra's color is yellow. A lack of energy here may result in depression and confusion. This was the most interesting because the yellow scarf is tied around my waist in the dream!
Red - Chakra 1: Muladhara The root chakra is located at the base of the spine. This chakra deals with human potential, primitive energy, basic survival needs and our foundations. Red is the color associated with this chakra. A significant lack of energy here can make people weak and self-destructive.
Green - (the scarf I gave my sister) Chakra 4: Anahata The fourth chakra is located over the heart and relates to love, balance, compassion, and self expression. Green, and sometimes pink, is the color of this chakra. Little energy in this chakra may cause paranoia and indecision.

Sea of scarves = this represents me dealing with the finality of finally cutting the ex off for good. The struggle of getting through the room is the three years I struggled with trying to decide whether to continue the relationship or not.

Singing in Spanish = The translation for what I was singing was, sing, don't cry, because heavenly one, singing gladdens the heart.

I'm still analyzing this dream and what it means, but even if it doesn't mean anything, it was simply beautiful. I doubt I will ever see colors like this with my eyes, but I would love to.

I feel tons better now. I haven't cried about my ex or really thought about him. Today represents the last day I will allow myself to mourn over this. Maybe the dream was to let me know it's ok to move on and I will really be alright.

Maybe...

The Risk of Being in Love

2010-08-13T04:35:00.004-05:00

Tonight, I've had the shittiest night in a long time. Tonight, I finally had "the talk" with my semi-ex boyfriend of six years. We've (er I) finally decided that this couldn't continue anymore.

As most relationships, ours was pretty rock solid. We rarely argued and if we did we would agree to disagree and leave it at that. He never raised his voice to me, never called me out my name and anytime we were together I felt as safe as anyone could.

There was just one thing.

The relationship wasn't going anywhere. When I mean anywhere, I mean anywhere. After six years we were still in the same stage that we were as when we first got together. It was fine for me when I was in my 20's, I wasn't worried about the future, being a wife or having kids. Now that I'm 33, soon to be 34 this year, my mind has started to change in that aspect a bit. He's already been married before and has two children in college now, so he's done that already.

Well, maybe there wasn't one thing, more like two things...

Over the course of our relationship, he became a Christian, a rabid, Christian. Arguments started to pop up because he didn't like any of my gay friends and was always telling people that they were going to go to hell because of their lifestyle. My mother had warned me to break it off then because this was going to be a cause in our relationship failure. I didn't listen, I loved him too much.

Then last year on Valentine's day of all days, he dropped a bomb on me. He decided he was going to be celibate. Now, I questioned this because I felt like this: If I give a man a cookie every day at noon, after a while he's going to look forward to that cookie. Now all of a sudden because I have diabetes, I'm not giving anymore cookies. What does my diabetes have to do with giving him cookies?! See what I mean? So that was the first break.

Fast forward to New Years, he told me he was going to just leave me alone, basically dumping me TWICE in a year. You would think that being dumped meant he'd leave me alone. No. We continued as if we were still together until I started piecing things together. He was emotionally manipulating me into staying.

I finally grew a pair and told him tonight that this was it. Guess what his retaliation was? I LOVE YOU.

In the SIX years we were together, he never said that! But now that I'm killing all contact NOW he says it? That was when I TRULY realized he was emotionally manipulating me the entire time.

I've been crying for the past 4 hours, but I realize that this was the best thing to do.

I hate love, I hate relationships because all logical thought gets thrown into the wind and this just proved my point.

Ugh!

I'm Back!

2010-05-10T00:38:00.003-05:00

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

I realized lately that I haven't blogged anything since last year!

WTF was up with that?

Well, things really haven't changed since I last posted. I'm still working out, er well trying to. I'm having issues with trying to get my rheumatoid arthritis in check. Now that my grinding pain has stopped in my knees thanks to these new supplements, I can now feel which parts of my legs are sorely undeveloped and now I have to arrange my lower body plan to strengthen these parts.

I did some research and found that Turmeric is VERY good for keeping arthritis flares down. Within TWO days of taking the Turmeric supplements, my grinding pain was GONE and hasn't come back since! I wish I'd heard about this years earlier before the deterioration became so bad I could barely walk.

I'm also taking green tea, alpha lipioc acid supplements. The green tea gives me a little boost and the ALA is REALLY helping my skin stay clear. The only gross thing is the ALA made me shed like a lizard the first 2 weeks. I was able to take a knife and just peel skin off my hands and fingers. GROSS!

So, still jobless, still fat (just not as I was before), still in school. I have no choice but to keep it moving. That's what I'm good at and I'll have to keep doing it until I get...somewhere.

Rant of the Month

2009-12-18T00:43:00.004-06:00

Ok, I'm gonna rant for a second here...

I have been part of the millions that have had the unfortunate problem of being unemployed. I was once working for Chase bank, when they decided to send the entire department I was working in to India. Now, instead of transitioning employees to other positions, or giving us the option of posting out, these bastards keep the information secret and suddenly started firing people left and right.

The week before I was fired, I'd just had my review. I had the highest marks for my area and was even given a raise. I had no errors, no write ups on record and that very next week (the DAY before we were off for Thanksgiving) I was fired for having errors.

Yeah, right.

I just was reviewed the week before and in one week I managed to go from being the "best employee on the floor" to fired?!

Which brings me to this.

If I hear one more person bitch about their job and how they hate their job, I'm going to put both thumbs over their throat and press.

HARD.

I'm going to keep pressing until they black the fuck out and then I'm going to kick them repeatedly.

I have been looking for a job for OVER TWO FUCKING YEARS and hearing people bitch and moan about the jobs they do have, when I have none makes me slightly irritated.

I've been borderline homeless and have almost lost my car and everything else and you want to bitch about a job?! Something I've been looking for for fucking ever?!

I shit you not, I post over 10 resumes on a daily basis for the past 2 years and more often than not, these job postings are scammy, stupid or on plain bullshit.

I made an office manager cry because he called me for an interview and in 2 hours later he called me back to say the job was already filled?!

What the fuck?!

By the time I was done talking, the man was in tears because he'd got my fucking hopes up about a job, only to take it away a mere 2 hours later.

I know the right one is around the corner, but I'm getting antsy and the boredom is driving me insane!

Blame it on the Dic-dic-dic-dick

2009-12-03T22:42:00.005-06:00

I'm willing to bet this is how Tiger's looking right about now. That sad expression is the dwindling of money that he's going to lose thanks to his dick.

That's right.

His dick.

Yet again a dick has fucked up a couple of lives. Jumpoffs, wive, kids, his own, all thanks to his dick.

I always knew dick was a powerful thing, but now these suckers are ruining lives on the regular. That kinda makes me scared. How is it that a dick can seriously fuck up a life?

Honestly, if I were a man, a RICH man at that; I would never get married and just get escorts. Then again, if I'm rich, I'm fucking EVERYBODY! I think what amazes me the most about these cheating hoenastics is the type of the jumpoff involved.

Anyone who knows me, knows I eternally HEART the show CHEATERS. The one thing that always stand out on the men and women who cheat is the level of fuckery that goes on. Not only are they cheating, but they're cheating with someone that looks like they were picked up off the Dan Ryan exit ramp. I thought the intent was to screw up, not screw down.

The only real tragedy about this whole romp is the children and the possibility of not growing up with both their parents.

So, Tiger, when you take your next shower, just make sure you thank your dick. It really fucked you over this time and not in the way you thought you'd get fucked!

It's December!

2009-12-02T06:10:00.006-06:00

Holy crap, the holidays went by quick! Always after my birthday, the holidays fly by. I've got not really an update, just more rambling from the scary corners of my mind.

My Birthday - 10/28.

As you can see from my drunk photo, I had a WONDERFUL 33rd birthday! A good friend of mine played designated driver and told me that I acted a dang ol' fool! I remember drinking 2 long islands and having a crap load of tequila shots. Now the last time I had tequila was in St. Cloud, Minnesota and my friends had to PEEL my ass off the DJ because I thought he was soooo cute! Now most of what happened, I can only go by what he told me. The night continued like this:

I almost took my ponytail off and waved it in the air.
I was "cocked back, hollering like a hillbilly" at the DJ.
I had two foam plates, using them as fans and asked him, "Would you like some left breast or right breast?" while holding the plates under my boobs.
I imitated Princess Leia with the same plates saying, "Help me, Obi-wan! You're my only hope!"
I wrote on a piece of paper: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE! And stuck it to my forehead.
Somehow I got a hold of a tiara and was wearing it.
I slammed all the shot glasses on the bar.
When I gave him the keys for us to leave, I continued to chitchat at the bar while he started the car up. He thought I was right behind him!
Security had to walk me to the car and when I finally opened the door, he yelled at me, "Get yo drunk ass in the car!" Funny, I've heard that a few times before! LOL
Once I got back to his place, I had trouble removing my jewelry to go to sleep.
I passed out and was snoring 5 minutes later.

Damn I had a good time! This Scorpio can REALLY party! LOL Trust me, I felt that shit the next day too. I was too through, I let him drive and slept in the car!

The Gym.

I'm still going to the gym and now I'm adding the dreaded treadmill to my rotation. I managed to stagger for about 3 minutes before my fat ass almost had a coronary. I only have one thing to say about the treadmill: JESUS, MARY, K-CI AND JOJO! THE PAIN! DEAR GOD, THE PAIN!!!! *THUD* X_X I didn't know this rat bastard of a machine could cause THIS much pain in a mere span of three minutes.

Yes.

I walked for a total of THREE MINUTES for my first shot.

And now my butt feels like it's been lit aflame!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant
(Thank you Very Smart Brothas!)

I'm just catching wind of the media whirl storm that's surrounding Tiger and his wife. At first, I thought she was trying to rescue her hubby from the car. I mean, really, what wife wouldn't do that if she could?! Now all of sudden skanks are popping out the network going after him. Even if he was cheating, he definitely didn't deserve a 9 iron upside the head. I'm sure all women at some point in time wanted to tee off against their boyfriend's head, but it doesn't make it right. I feel the only time one should get physical is if they are being threatened and there's no other way out.

Damn Phone!

Last night, this is how I felt about my phone! My phone dropped signal and couldn't get it up! I kept taking the battery out, rebooting it. I even did a master reset to the factory settings and it just told me to go fuck off. I called AT&T and they told me I had to wait to see if it will pick up again, if not I needed a new sim card. I missed about 12 hours of air time and it was down. Gotdammit!

White House Party Crashers.

Yeah, that pic pretty much sums up those two douchebags. I'm willing to bet my left nipple, if they had been Tyrone and LaShonda Jackson, or Hector and Maria Hernandez, they would have been tazered, shot and beaten on site by Secret Service. The SS fucked up royally in this situation. Not only did they slide in, they made it next to the POTUS and the VPOTUS AND their wives!

That's pretty much sums up my thoughts this go round. I'm aiming to do more posting because I do have tons of thoughts, it's just getting on the comp to post them is what kills me.

Birthday Preprations

2009-10-19T21:22:00.004-05:00

Well, my mouth is healing nicely and I'm down one tooth. At this rate, I'm gonna need dentures soon, or at least implants. Bleck.

The one good thing: I have a bottle of vicodin left over. Hmmm, drugs!

As I type this, I'm in vicodin heaven riiiight now. Ahhh, good stuff. I see how people become addicted to this stuff! LOL!

This Saturday I will be celebrating my 33rd birthday! But my actual birthday isn't until the 28th, but that's on a Wednesday.

This is the big 33 and I've said if I haven't reproduced by the time I'm 35, I'm giving up hope! 2 more years to go!

-

Kill Me Now!

2009-10-12T15:20:00.004-05:00

Jesus, Mary, KCi and Jojo!

The pain I am experience right now is almost seventh rung of hell pain.

Last friday, I was enjoying a hard shelled taco from Taco Bell when I heard a loud *CRACK* then some grinding sounds. At first I thought it was the taco shell, but something told me to look in my mouth. My tooth had cracked and was bleeding like crazy!

Saturday, I called 1-800-DENTIST and they referred me to a dentist over in Evergreen Park that would see me that same day. I went in hoping it would get pulled and my pain would be over, no I would have to wait because it was INFECTED!

INFECTED?!

FUCK!

So I spent the weekend in pain and today I went to get it pulled.

Oh wait, it gets better!

I get in and he goes to numb me and the stuff wore off in 5 minutes! I started to freak, so he shot me up again and this time he tapped the nerve in the tooth and dude almost caught a left to the face!

So now that I'm numbed all over basically, he goes to yank it and it SHATTERS into a million pieces! Now he has to use that tool and basically DIG the damn thing out piece by piece. I'm amazed he didn't dislocate my jaw the way he was yanking and pulling and twisting and turning.

It took 5 minutes to get the entire tooth out, the longest 5 minutes of my damn life. Now he's twisted and pulled, he tore my gum up so now I have over TWELVE sutures in my mouth. The only good thing about this, I have a prescription for Vicodin and a refill!

I'm amazed I was able to type this because I am fuzzy as hell right now.

-

Life Goes On...

2009-10-05T14:55:00.003-05:00

I apologize for no posts during September, but I've been busy getting prepared to start school. That's right, yours truly is going BACK to school for my Masters degree in Information Technology-Project Management. It's been a long time coming, I was always moaning about how I wanted my Masters and this forced unemployment finally made me realize that this is the BEST time now. I'm taking an online accelerated class with AIU Online. I will be finish by August 2010. I can focus on working out, losing weight and going to class.

As far as the weight thing, I've lost a total of 34 pounds so far and people are starting to recognize it. I ran into a friend I haven't seen since last year and they noticed it immediately. Totally made my day!

My workout consists of 15-25 minutes of bike riding, depending on how sore I am because of the RA and then working with weights on my upper or lower body. I alternate between upper and lower, doing two days of upper and two days of lower. I'm currently working with 12.5/15 lbs free weights and on the lat pull down, I'm at 110lbs. Lower body I'm at 100lbs. I hope to start bench pressing soon and I'm going to start at maybe 40 to 50lbs.

I am totally loving the way my body is starting to tone up, my ass is lifting up and getting much rounder. My saddlebags are damn near non-existent and my biceps are starting to tone up, as is my shoulders. I even got muscle in my forearms! I'm still fat, but it's totally different than before. I now have some shape and substance versus just being everywhere. I only wish I'd started working out sooner. I hope to purchase a bike next summer and start using that as another mean to exercise also.

As far as my relationships, I simply choose to not be in one for now. Men just require too much of my mental energy and I need all the energy to do this Masters program. I still talk to the guy I met in April, but nothings really came of that. We just chit chat occasionally. I'm still running into that old stand by: Treat a man like a King and he'll shit on you. Treat a man like shit and he'll love your dirty draws. I will NEVER understand this mindset, but I sure would love to!

I was with my ex for six years and during those six years he rarely said I love you and pretty much neglected me. Now that he's left me, he pressing me hard like I'm made of platinum! I've been really taking time to examine myself to find my fatal flaw. I believe it's that I'm too laid back. I don't cause conflict, if I find that someone is just too irritating, I simply disappear. I don't let people know that they've hurt me, I just disappear.

I learned to censor myself at a very young age, my mother often told me about how young ladies don't speak a certain way. I have a tendency to speak my mind and not sugar coat what I say. So instead of sugar coating, I just disappear. It seems so many of these men today are so sensitive that anything I say comes across as being a Bastard. (there's that word again) People get so caught up in their feelings, they don't hear what's being said. The truth is the truth and nothing can soften it or make it syrupy sweet and non hurting.

I'm still learning about myself and slowly navigating through this world. I may just wind up doing it alone.

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A Reminder

2009-08-12T15:43:00.004-05:00

Being a black woman in America is not an easy thing. One major thing is, people never let you forget that you are a black woman. Often I am asked questions starting with, "as a black woman..." Why not ask me how I feel as a person period?

I had another moment in which I was clearly reminded that not only was I a black woman, that I was supposedly a ghetto black woman.

I have been unemployed going on 2 years. I have constantly searched for work during these two years I have been not working. I got my Insurance Producer license and even that crapped out because at the time I got it, that's when the recession REALLY hit hard. Of course no one was purchasing insurance during a recession!

It's getting really hard, so I decided to see what social services I would be eligible to receive. After filling out an online application, I was phoned and told I had an interview the next day. After having to wait in a filled lobby for almost an hour, I was summoned into the interview room.

The second I came into the room, the caseworker (note, she was black also) started speaking to me in a manner that I could only describe as borderline abusive. Now, I sympathized with the woman because you had to look at the number of people she was dealing with on a daily basis, so I brushed it off. But the longer the interview went on, the more abusive she became.

I'm reaching boiling point and ready to haul off and verbally pimp slap her into the middle of next month. She started "telling" me about programs that'll help women of my age, with kids get their GED.

Her: We do have programs that will assist women with kids from 20-40's go back to school and get their GED.

Me: Wait a second. I don't have kids and I've already graduated high school. (note I'm saying this with an eyebrow cocked at her)

Her: Oh...well maybe you can take some college classes at the community college.

Me: (both eyebrows raised now) I graduated college in 1999!

The next question damn near pissed me off because of course I was LYING about finishing high school and going to college.

Her: (with more attitude than before) Oh really? What college did you go to?

Me: (damn near with a snarl) University of Minnesota. Not the one in Minneapolis, but the one in Morris.

We're damn near about to start thumping in this office at this point, but what amazed me was the complete 180 she did upon learning I was college educated. The abusive, belittling tone completely left her voice and now she was actually trying to be nice to me. At this point, she already soured any chance she had with me believing she was a decent individual. I was sick to my stomach and ready to just walk out.

I don't know what made me more ill: The fact that she prejudged me before even speaking to me or that she was a black woman herself and would KNOW about being prejudged especially given that it was the social service office. (aka the aid place)

The nail in the coffin was that even on unemployment, I make too much money to join any social service available in the city. Maybe if I pump out 4 kids and don't work, I could get access to all the aid and health care I need. That's a damn shame within itself.

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Insanity Abounds

2009-07-29T14:58:00.003-05:00

I'm not much of a political person. The only time I became engrossed in politics and the going on's of Republicans and Democrats was the 2008 election. I was frantic that Bush couldn't run again and we'd have a chance to start off fresh. Of course, I didn't believe at first that President Obama would win, but I did know one thing, the hate would reach critical mass now that a black man was running for the office.

I wish I could have won the lottery off that prediction. but this most recent attack from the right leaves me going, WTF?!

Now it seems Fox Nation is suggesting that Obama's health care bill is a back door bill for slavery reparations.

All together now.

WTF!?

Seriously, WTF?!

Here's the piece on HuffPo

I jokingly said in the past during the election, "If Obama wins, Republicans are going to go critical mass and in an embarrassing way." They're starting to make my prediction to come true!

Honesly, I'm just waiting for someone on Fox News to drop the N bomb and set all hell loose. I'm telling you, it's coming and hopefully they will be broadcasting LIVE when it happen. I'm ready to take bets on whose gonna be the idiot to do it.

Bill O'Reily? Sean Hannity? Any takers?

I'm simply amazed at how racial these attacks are suddenly becoming. Hell, just the other day Glenn Beck called Obama a racist. Beck said that President Barack Obama had "over and over again" shown himself to be "a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture," later adding, "I'm not saying he doesn't like white people, I'm saying he has a problem ... This guy is, I believe, a racist." What?!

At least after that bomb of mental retardation, Joe Scarborough from Scarborough Country, blasted Beck on Twitter saying, "Conservatives attacked the Dixie Chicks for saying much less about President Bush than what Beck said about President Obama."

But the number one thing that slays me about the Anti-Obama movement: Birthers. Yes, somehow a man made the state of Hawaii lie about him being born there and managed to keep this a secret for virtually his ENTIRE LIFE. Richard Roper from Chicago Sun-Times wrote an awesome article about it.

I see logic dying a horrible death and mental stupidity winning. I'm reminded of something I heard when I lived in Minnesota. Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups.

I think we're reaping that RIGHT now.

Have mercy on us all!
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Happy Fun Infections!

2009-07-03T00:31:00.005-05:00

Well, had to go back to the doc because I wasn't doing too well. It seems I couldn't breathe quite right. After working out, I would be too winded and couldn't catch my breath. I thought my RA was acting up again. Just for those who don't know...

Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is an autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflammation of the joints. Rheumatoid arthritis can also cause inflammation of the tissue around the joints, as well as in other organs in the body.

It seems that my RA loves my lungs! I had some fluid in the chest and now I'm taking some medicine to clear it up. One thing, with this medicine I cannot have ANY ALCOHOL while taking it.

No martinis for the kid.

Gotdammit!

I have to finish the ENTIRE rotation of drugs to make sure the minor infection is cleared up. I have to wait an entire WEEK plus one day before I can take another drink.

But wait, it gets better!

Not only this crap happens. Mother nature's ol evil ass decided to pay me a visit. So now I can't have SEX or DRINK.

I though I would at least have one vice to supplement for the other since it would be out of commission.

This is going to be a looooooooooooong week.

Dammitdammitdammitdammitdammit!

Sometimes I HATE being a woman and this is one of those times. I would go have a drink and chill, but I can't do that!

*burst into tears*

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Shit I See At the Gym

2009-07-01T01:48:00.007-05:00

Yesterday made officially TWO WHOLE MONTHS since I've started working out! I've upped my weights and I'm now currently pulling 80lbs upper (lat machine) and 85lbs lower body. My free weights are now 7.5. That's a huge step from the 2.5 I started with!

Enough about that, there are some women that come to the gym in shorts that they wore in high school, but somehow managed to cram their asses in, with NO UNDERWEAR.

Yeah, that's right, people, I said it: No panties.

Let me get this right. You're in the gym, so of course you're going to sweat and you wear NO UNDERWEAR?! HHHHAAAARRRRFFF! Hot melted tuna anyone?! Not only are the shorts "coochie cutters," as we used to call them, some have butt cheeks hanging out that look like a 6 year old took aim with a BB gun and lit their asses up.

Come on now! Just because it's an all women's gym, doesn't mean I want to see your asscheeks swaying to and fro in the wind while you hop up and down on the treadmill. Have some decency!

One thing I have noticed though, the ones that pull the too tight short shit, are usually average sized. Most of the big girls (like myself) are usually covered up like most people should! And it makes me wonder, did they even LOOK in the mirror in the changing room before they came bouncing out here, cheesecake and all?

But the apex of my working out happened last week. I was once working on my shoulders. (lifting weights over head) and caught a view of some chicks snatch! Apparently, she was doing leg lifts IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR and taking pictures of the entire gym!

Fucked up my whole workout! I shouldn't see a twat! The only twat I should see/be concerned about is my OWN! And she is definitely covered up and put away when I am working out!

So apparently now I have to wear headphones AND sunshades when I go work out. I wasn't the only victim caught in this flash by. Two other women saw as well and one even blurted, "What the hell!?" when she saw the clam flash.

This shit is getting outta control! Don't get me started on the chicks that come to the gym in full glam mode, jump on a tread mill for 3 minutes and leave!

I love the gym, I swear I do, but some of these chicks need a reality check. Like a 5lb jelly bell upside the fucking forehead.

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Updates

2009-06-17T18:23:00.004-05:00

I've been a busy little bunny since I last posted an entry. I'm still working out and just had a doctor visit today. There's three more pounds of me gone. WHOO HAA!

I've had an interview with Jim Fannin Brands, Inc. In case you don't know, Jim Fannin is a motivational speaker who invented the S.C.O.R.E System. It seems Jim is looking for a new Administrative Assistant. His old one was promoted to a new position and she's looking for the next person to fill her old space. I even got an autographed copy of his book; S.C.O.R.E for Life. I've been reading it since I got it, it's quite interesting!

I don't know if anyone remembers, but that one guy I met at Martini Monday back in April. We've been talking for the past 2 months and we've even went out on a few occasions. He's a cool guy and I'm insanely attracted to him. I haven't had that reaction to a guy in YEARS. (No, I didn't have that reaction to my ex) So I'm just playing everything low key. This year is the year of me, I'm not entertaining anything new at the moment.

I think my next step this year might be to get dreads! Or maybe Sisterlocks, they look more like micros than dreads. Who knows. My hair is growing out of control and working out makes it look like a total bushel of straw, so maybe I'll go natural!

This has definitely been an interesting year!

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Men, men, men!

2009-06-02T15:00:00.006-05:00

Relationships pertaining to the opposite sex has ALWAYS intrigued me. I often wondered what is it about me that attracts certain types of men. All my life I have ALWAYS attracted men that were nearly 10 plus years ahead of me. I call them Pawdy paws. When I was in my teens, it was dudes in their 20's. When I was in my 20's it was dudes in my 30's. My most recent ex was already 30 when I got with him at 26. Now that I'm in my 30's the 40 year olds are starting to hunt me down.

Now with my sister, it's the complete opposite! She attracts all the youngins! She currently has a 21 year old sniffing after her. When we talk on the phone, she's telling me about the 20 somethings that keep hitting on her and I have my stories about the 40+ dudes, with kids damn near MY age, hitting on me!

However, I thank God that I've never attracted abusive men or men who are users. I'm pretty quick on the uptake and can spot a bad situation and get myself out of it. There was really one one huge regret but I learned from that situation and have been doing pretty well so far.

I'm now at the age where I wonder if I will ever be a wife or a mother. I actually have no desire to be a mother, but maybe a wife. I wouldn't mind being a wife to my ex, but he has other issues he's working through. *coughtryingtobeaministercough*

I'm curious and a scientist by nature, so I would often question exes how they felt about me and what they liked and didn't like. The number one complaint/compliment I often get is, I think like a man. I didn't know there was a a male mentality and a female mentality. The way I think is the way Jade thinks. I think therefore I am, right? Not so. I've been called a bastard more times in my life and I've been called a bitch and I've been told it's because I think like a man.

I believed that they were calling me dude-ish, but that wasn't the point. It was I supposedly think through things like a man. I still don't understand WTF that means and don't know if it's a compliment or a complaint.

Looking back on childhood, my friends were often boys. I had a few girl friends too, but I always hung out with boys. Even in College. My closet friends are girls (Shawntan, Nikki, Leondra) but one of my current best friends is a guy.

I swear, I will probably be 90 and on my way out before I truly understand myself. I feel different, but then again I feel the same as if I was 18. I do undertstand one thing, I looooove men. Always have and no matter how much of a fool they act, I always will. Especially my Black men. *fans self*

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Reminders

2009-06-01T22:30:00.003-05:00

I swear, every time you think you're doing good, something reminds you of one thing you really don't care for.

Every month, mother nature's bitch ass reminds me that I am indeed a female of fertile age. This reminder comes in a painful, bloody reminder that makes me disappear for at least four days.

Not last month.

Oh no, Mother nature decided to dick around with me a bit and just STAY. I went to Planned Parenthood and they prescribed me a pill called Ortho Micronor. Here's one of the side effects of satan's little pill...

Irregular menstrual patterns are common among women using progestin-only oral contraceptives. If genital bleeding is suggestive of infection, malignancy or other abnormal conditions, such nonpharmacologic causes should be ruled out. If prolonged amenorrhea occurs, the possibility of pregnancy should be evaluated.

Hear that? Irregular bleeding. Meaning, you will BLEED UNTIL YOU FUCKING COLLAPSE. What sadistic bastard created these pills that make you bleed constantly? No wonder it's called birth control, you can't have any sex if you're bleeding constantly.

Now anyone who really knows me, knows about my history with birth control. I took Ortho Novum 7/7/7 and lost all my body hair, including eyebrows! I was walking around like a shaved rat and people thought I was going nuts. I've taken virtually every birth control pill known to man and LoEstrin was the ONLY one that worked and didn't make me nuts. So after a brief stint with that Ortho Micronor bullshit, I've gone back to my LoEstrin.

Oh how I missed you LoEstrin! That Ortho (ortho brands make me lose hair!) shot my blood pressure up to 160/90 when my bp should be 130/80 (for my size) My doctor told me to STOP taking and start sunday on the new LoEstrin.

Oh a good note, I've lost a total of 20 pounds since last year. Whoo rah!!

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Getting It Together

2009-05-19T15:13:00.004-05:00

It's been about three weeks since I've started working out. I've been doing good about being in the gym at least 3 times a week. It's this eating thing that's giving me problems. You see, my problem wasn't overeating, no no. They said I wasn't EATING ENOUGH! Yep, that's right, my fat ass wasn't eating enough. How strange!

I do light lifting with 2.5 jelly bells. Jelly bells as barbells that have a silicone cover. The ones I use are a dark red. I do upper body work with the jelly bells and then I use a 2 lb ball to do ab work. I'm currently adding crunches and leg lifts for an overall workout.

Once I finish that, I hop on the bike. My first day, I could only do .2 miles before giving up. Now I'm up to 3 miles and I can pedal the first mile without having to stop for breath! I like the endorphin rush that I'm high on for a few hours afterwards. It's better than codeine!

I'm trying to drag everyone I know with me. I have four free guest passes and so far I've managed to pull two people along. So far, so good. LOL

I also have a doctors appointment coming up, I need to get back on my birth control because the female issues are starting to rise again! Urrrrgh!

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My Personality - INTP

2009-05-04T12:43:00.004-05:00

I always love little quirky tests. So I took the Myers-Briggs online personality test and this was my result. The stuff in bold is ALL ME!

INTP

"The Architects"

Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving

INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them.

Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off. While annoying to the less concise, this fine discrimination ability gives INTPs so inclined a natural advantage as, for example, grammarians and linguists. INTPs detect contradictions in statements no matter how distant in space or time the contradictory statements were produced. The intellectual scanning of INTPs has a principled quality; that is, INTPs search for whatever is relevant and pertinent to the issue at hand. Consequently, INTPs can concentrate better than any other type.

A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data.

INTPs tend not to be writers or to go into sales work. They prefer to work quietly, without interruption, and often alone. If an organization is to use the talents of an INTP appropriately, the INTP must be given an efficient support staff who can capture ideas as they emerge and before the INTP loses interest and turns to another idea.

INTPs take their mating relationships seriously and usually are faithful and devoted - albeit preoccupied at times. If left to his or her own devices, the INTP mate will retreat into the world of books and emerge only when physical needs become imperative.

INTPs are, however, willing, compliant, and easy to live with, although somewhat forgetful of appointments, anniversaries, and the rituals of daily living - unless reminded. They may have difficulty expressing their emotions verbally, and the mate of an INTP may believe that he/she is somewhat taken for granted. As a parent, the INTP is devoted; they enjoy children, and are serious about their upbringing. The home of an INTP parent is usually calm, low-key in discipline, but well run and ordered.

INTPs and Logic -- One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic -- apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.

Games NTs seem to especially enjoy include Risk, Bridge, Stratego, Chess, Go, and word games of all sorts.

INTPs deal with their environment primarily through intuition, and their strongest quality, the thinking function, remains relatively hidden except in close associations. Therefore, INTPs are often misunderstood, seen as difficult to get to know, and seldom perceived at their true level of competency. They are inclined to be shy except when with close friends, and their reserve is difficult to penetrate. They may have difficulty in being understood by others because they tend to think in a complicated fashion and want to be precise, never redundant in communications. Because their feeling qualities may be underdeveloped, they may be insensitive to the wants and wishes of others, often quite unaware of the existence of these wants and wishes.

Ha! All this time I thought I was a weirdo! But this seems to really explain alot of my 'isms' and how I operate!
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I Finally Did It

2009-05-03T17:39:00.003-05:00

I finally did it. It's taken me damn near six months of mental prepration for the big day, but I finally did it. I went and got myself a gym membership! I joined Women's Workout World, which scarily is litterally down the street from me!

I joined April 30th which was the LAST day of their 19 down and 19 a month. I saw the commercial and on a lark just called the gym's number. I spoke with a nice lady named Linda and she scheduled me to come in that Thursday.

We had a sit down Q and Q session where she basically asked me what were my goals and what I was looking to do. My goal for now is to be able to dance my ass off at the next Big Boi Party. (hee) We went over my nutrition and come to find out, I was told I'M NOT EATING ENOUGH. That part made me laugh, because all my life folks would always say, "Well if you stop eating so much..." and all this time, I wasn't eating enough. Hilarious! People always think if someone is fat it's because they eat all the time, yeah that may what got them into that situation, but it's not entirely that ALL the time.

I normally would eat only ONCE a day. Just once and that was it. My stomach is a mess due to my medication for my arthritis. So my diet at this time is normal foods, nothing special or out of the way.

After I signed my contract, I was shown to the locker room and got changed. I met Julia, who took me to the free weights and I started with 2.5. Who in the hell would ever think 2.5 is heavy as hell! Urrrgh!

I did all upper body movements. I also got to use a 2lb ball to work on my abs. Just moving side to side and lifting the ball over my head made my tummy burn like hell. The best part of it all, I got to do it all sitting down because of my knee and my arthritis (I can work with that!)

I took frequent 30 second breaks to towel off, and chug some water. Afterwards, I moved to the leg machines and did a few reps and that was the end of it.

I was in the gym from 3 til 5:30!

I snagged a salad and a fruit n yogurt and came on home, ate and fell asleep. LOL

That was my first step, now it's time for me to take the walk. I'm ready. I can't wait to see how I'm going to be this summer!

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Interesting development!

2009-04-06T01:31:00.004-05:00

This has been an interesting week.

A bad day turned out to be something pretty nice!

I went to my usual Martini Monday and saw a friend (female) talking with some guys. One guy happened to catch my eye. And I noticed for the entire night, my attention kept going back to this one guy. So the guy leaves and I wander over to my friend and start to interrogate her. Come to find out, he's just a friend from college. So I asked her to put in a good word and he gave her his number to give to me!

I'm still stinging a bit about the breakup of my six year relationship, but man...this guy is REALLY interesting. I want to see where this would go.

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Another Post...sigh

2009-04-02T03:15:00.005-05:00

Well, my saga is ever lasting and continuing with a heaping dose of PAIN. I've had quite a few things happen between this post and my last. So I'll do a catch up and try to post more in the future.

Recently, my mother had to have surgery and was in the AUSHU (read ICU) at Christ Medical Center. I was able to visit her after her surgery, but immediately became ILL. FUUUCK! Of all the times, moms really needed me, I couldn't be there because I was a walking bio-hazard. I probably picked it up from someone in the AUSHU. It wasn't no ordinary run of the mill cold, no this sucker came with a SINUS INFECTION complete with red/green yuck spewing forth from my throat and chest. Blerrgh.

Other news, I have another interview. YAY ME!

Yes, I do say yay me in real life.

Anyways. I finally got a REAL interview as an Administrative Assistant. I've been doing admin type work all my life, so I think it's time I get the title to go with it. Hell, admins go on to the exec level and can pull damn near 70 stacks a year.

I was able to upgrade my phone. I decided my one gift at least for now will be a GOOD phone. Not just any raggedy piece of shit they give away for free, but something I'll pluck some change into and can hold on for a while.

Hence, the SAMSUNG ETERNITY! (insert chorus singing hallelujah)

This phone...man, it does EVERYTHING! If they can teach this phone to give head, I'll be STRAIGHT! It's all touch screen and damn near like an iphone without the iprice! Ohh my new phone, my new love and it's allll mine! *girlish squeal*

One of my major goals this year is to JOIN A GYM! It's gonna hurt like a sonofabitch, but I resolve to do it. I want to see if I can actually lose weight without having to go the surgery route. I really don't wany to be skinny.

Seriously, I'm 6 feet tall, skinny is NOT an option.

I would like to get to how I was in high school, kinda agile and quick footed. This damn arthritis has REALLY slowed me down and I'm not agile as I used to be.

With me luck!

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My Life...so far

2009-03-14T00:51:00.002-05:00

It's been an interesting almost 2 months since I've last blogged. I've finally decided to pursue a full time job somewhere else. This trying to sell Insurance on full commission, just wasn't doing it. To make matters worse, I got my licenses RIGHT before the economy tanked, so I never really got to sell any policies.

Thus beginning my job hunt from hell. As of the middle of Feb, I had been on four interviews. It seems these jobs now make you want to jump through hoops, part the red sea and stage the second coming of Jesus before they will hire you. Not to mention, even the most menial of jobs require that you have a 4 year degree! WTF!

On an average day, I'm sending out 16-20 resumes. I have accounts on damn near every job board possible and STILL no hits. I'm trying to not get depressed, but it's getting hard. All I can do is just keep it moving. That's my motto for 2009: Keep It Moving.

Life's Phenomenons

2009-01-22T02:34:00.008-06:00

Now, I don't proclaim to be the reincarnation of Einstein, but I don't claim to be as sharp as a bowling ball either. Given that life is just freaking weird, there will always be crap I just don't understand. This crap is usually a Phenomenon to me. In my sparse 32 years on this planet, here's a few that I've been noticing.

The Car Phenomenon - The act where when two people are in a relationship, the man wants to drive the woman's car, but refuses to let her drive his.

EX: My guy thinks I'm going to let him ride my shit till the wheels fall off, but if I even LOOK at his steering wheel cockeyed, he has a damn heart attack. His reasoning, I don't drive as good as him. Where this flawed logic came from, I have no idea. Since being together for going on six years, I have had TWO cars (my first was a Malibu in which the engine locked up and cracked). Him? SEVEN cars! By his logic, I should keep a cattle prod in the car in case he gets a little antsy!

The Dumb Hater Phenomenon - The act in which a hater will find the DUMBEST shit to hate on someone about, which is TOTALLY irrelevant to all other sane people in the area.

EX: I used to work overnights for Chase bank. I on lunch break, reading the paper and wearing my headphones. I overhear a girl say she hated me because I was too happy and fat people SHOULDN'T be happy. What the fuck? Seriously? I'm reading the paper and listening to the radio, minding my fat happy business and this wench said she hated me for simply enjoying myself. I almost told her to go eat a dick.

The Cheating Phenomenon - The act in where a person in a relationship cheats on their SO every time their back is turned, but yet once they find out they've been cheated on, they're ready to commit homicide and catch a case. Even worse, they're so paranoid about what they did, they're stalking/hawking their SO to catch them slipping up.

EX: I was working at the tax office and one of the guys there got mad at his girl because he thought she was somewhere with some guy. The SECOND he ends the call with her, he's on the phone with ANOTHER girl, making a date! I mean, she was all kinds of "bitches" and "hos" and "broads." (I swear for living God, I wanted to drag his ass into the street and beat him with a bag of nickels) The second she came BACK into the office, he shut the hell up real quick and had this dumb ass expression on his face. I just gave him the you're-a-fucking-dumbass glare and went back to what I was doing.

The Snitches Phenomenon - The act where a busybody at work, who feels that if they snitch on everyone else, it'll distract from the NON-WORK they're not doing.

EX: This was damn near everyone I worked with at Chase. Damn! The snitching got SO rifuckingdiculious, the manager MADE a position for one of his favorite snitches to report on EVERYTHING that happened on the floor. I was wondering where the hell was I at? Chase? Or Room 112 at Mahalia Jackson Elementary (112 was the Kindergarten room)

The I-may-be-X-but-at-least-I'm-not-fat Phenomenon - The act in which an individual could be hideous, repulsive, disgusting and downright scary thinks they're OK, simply because they're not fat.

EX: I can recall days from college where the most reptilian of guys would get angry at me because I wasn't interested and basically told me I should take what I could get. As I told one, "Neegro puhleeze!" Simply because one is not fluffy (such as myself) does not automatically rid them from other pariah type abilities. Sheesh, in looking at some of them, I'd rather BE fat than BE like them!

The Lonely Girl/Guy Phenomenon - The act in which a girl/guy is so lonely, they will do whatever the fuck it takes to make sure they spread the loneliness around. And I mean around.

EX: When I first got with my guy, you'da thought I was Halle Berry being taken off the market. Motherfuckers came out in droves just to speak ill about him...and HAD NEVER MET HIM.

Him: You know he got five or six hoes on the side right?

Me: So, what does that make me? The Seventh Hoe?

Him: That's not what I said!

Me: Yes you did! You said he had five or six! So that would make me the Sixth or Seventh Hoe.

Him: That's semantics!

Me: You just don't know what the fuck you're talking about!

And it didn't stop there. Anytime I brought my guy out with me, these fools acted a straight ass. It got so bad, I almost stuffed one in the oven and turned it on!

My mother always told me I should have been either a psychologist or a sociologist, because I just notice stuff people do WAY too fucking much!

Cripes!

Obama Day

2009-01-20T19:21:00.004-06:00

Today was a monumental day for American History. Just thinking about how History Books printed now have to add Barack Obama's name to the list of US Presidents kinda makes me giddy like a 4th grader!

I remember saying at one point, it would NEVER be in my lifetime that we have a president that's NOT white. Damn, I was totally wrong. I mean throughout the campaign, I had my doubts that he would actually win. I personally felt that America (or as Field say A-merry-ca) wasn't ready for a non-white president.

So today before heading into the tax office, I watched MSNBC with a sense of pride as Barack and Michelle strutted down the street, holding hands and waving to everyone that voted for him.

Good day.

Good day, indeed.

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Ho hum

2009-01-14T18:26:00.004-06:00

Today was a rather dreary day.

I really wasn't feeling too good. I woke up feeling kinda stiff and cranky, so I popped some arthritis medicine and passed back out. I thought I didn't have to go into the tax office today, but then I get a text message asking for me to go in from 5-9, which I don't mind. Although the manager (which I was supposed to be, that's another whole kettle of fish, I won't go into it here) was supposed to call me and tell me of the new schedule we have in place.

I'm not going to say anything or do anything. As long as I'm fucking paid, I don't give a good gotdamn. I can't be pissed about things that I can't control and I refuse to.

I'm thinking of leaving Aflac and head to greener pastures, I feel I gave it my all and those folks just right pissed me off. That's for another blog.

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First Day First Step

2009-01-13T16:29:00.000-06:00

Today is the first day that I'm in the office to prepare taxes and I've already ran across one individual that was a bit on the hoodish side.

I was simply adding some information to her info that was already in the system, since the guy that originally prepared the taxes was on the phone with another customer.

Long story short, ol gurl didn't want to pay the fee and it wasn't like she was getting back 500 dollars. No, she was getting a pretty decent return, but wanted to balk on the fee.

I can only imagine what the tax rush is going to look like. Jade might have to choke a bitch or two, I can see it coming!

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Happy New Year!

2009-01-09T21:52:00.000-06:00

It's finally a new year and change is upon us. Yours truly is looking forward to a brand spanking new year. I've opened my options career wise, having being downsized from Chase banks over a year ago.

Last May, I acquired my Life/Accident/Health insurance producers' license and I'm starting to not feel that where I'm at is going to be my home. It was a great step into the world of insurance, but I feel it's going to be time to move on.

I'm also going to prepare taxes this year. Yay me! I've always wanted to do it and now I've finally got a chance. It's not that difficult and on one return, I netted a woman over six thousand dollars! She would have only gotten back two thousand, but using the tips and tricks I was trained on, I got her most of her tax money back.

I feel my all my ducks are in a row and they're going to begin quacking. The moves I've been making and plans I've been plotting are finally going to come to fruition this year. I also plan on getting more licenses, mostly my Property and Casualty and hopefully by next year, my Series 7.

I also plan on doing alot more blogging. To catalog my experiences of what the new year bring. Who knows? I just hope it's a hell of alot better than 2008!

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Tis The Season!

2008-12-02T04:05:00.000-06:00

Tis the season.

Yep, it's December and you know what that means? Christmas!!!

The shopping, the food, the dealing with your dysfunctional family. Ahh, the moments. Although, I never get what I want for Christmas, which makes me think. Santa hates me.

Top Ten Signs Santa Hates You

10. Your stocking is ticking

9. Every kid gets a candy cane, you get a ball of rusty barbed wire

8. He brings you a new car -- right through the living room wall

7. His expression doesn't seem to be "jolly" so much as "seething and vengeful"

6. FBI bursts into your house saying, "We got a tip from Santa Claus you're hiding Mullah Omar"

5. You're being stalked by an elf hitman

4. You spend ten minutes telling him what you want -- he says, "Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me?"

3. Only item he leaves: a note reading "Your wife was great"

2. "Gift" he just gave your kids -- 2 weeks on a Disney cruise with Michael Jackson

1. His distinctive laugh: "Ho, ho, go screw yourself"

For those of us that absolutely HATE holiday seasons...this one's for you

Top Ten Signs You're Having a Bad Holiday Season

10. All of the Christmas cards you receive are addressed to "Resident."

9. On the one hand you got that great new clock radio; on the other hand there are cruise missiles heading for your palace.

8. You're riding in a one-horse closed sleigh, and your wife keeps whining, "Oh what fun we'd be having if only this were an open sleigh!"

7. A week after Christmas, you notice a bizarre smell coming from the chimney.

6. The first words your Furby says are, "Take me back to the store."

5. You're wrapping presents with rejected drafts of your suicide note.

4. You've had more than one fist fight with a mall cop.

3. Every person you know gets you an industrial-sized bottle of Clearasil.

2. The FBI finds your "genetic material" on Mrs. Claus's dress.

1. Two words: tinsel rash.

We need to re-instate ass whoopins on GP.

2008-11-24T21:24:00.000-06:00

The year is 2008 and in this day and age we have far too many people walking around with their asses on their shoulders believing they can do WHAT they want to do, WHEN they want to do it. You have more instances in the news of people just acting out for no reason, whatsoever. Like this woman, who was dressed in a cow suit and scaring children. Not only that, she urinated on a neighbors lawn! WTF?!

Ok, work with me here for a second. You mean to tell me, this woman got dressed up in a g-damn COW SUIT and chased children around scaring the crap out of them?!

That's why I call for re-instating ass whoopins on GP.

I guarantee you, if someone had whooped this woman's ass like they were supposed to, she wouldn't had been out in the street scaring those poor kiddies. I mean, I don't like kids, but I don't go terrorize them either... wait... er... never mind!

As a kid, you knew when you did shit you weren't supposed to, you got what? Your ass handed back to you. Everybody knows that one person that if they got their ass beat, they'd calm the hell down!

I don't care WHO you are. We ALL know someone that NEEDS to have their ass beat right this moment.

Which makes me think of what the comedian Baldhead once said. "Everybody got that one person on the job they can't stand. Get one of your friends to ride up to your job, walk up to them and start whooping their ass. Don't tell them WHY they're doing it, just do it. Next thing you know there'll be company memos about random ass whoopins."

There's a couple folks on my list right now, that I KNOW needs a random ass whooping.

Too bad there's the ability to press assault charges.

Greetings!

2008-11-24T18:49:00.000-06:00

Greetings all!

Here's my very first post on my new blogspot! YAY!

I will be porting over some old posts from my now defunct Yahoo 360 page where I did most of my blogging.

Oh what fun!

-js