Every month, mother nature's bitch ass reminds me that I am indeed a female of fertile age. This reminder comes in a painful, bloody reminder that makes me disappear for at least four days.
Not last month.
Oh no, Mother nature decided to dick around with me a bit and just STAY. I went to Planned Parenthood and they prescribed me a pill called Ortho Micronor. Here's one of the side effects of satan's little pill...
Irregular menstrual patterns are common among women using progestin-only oral contraceptives. If genital bleeding is suggestive of infection, malignancy or other abnormal conditions, such nonpharmacologic causes should be ruled out. If prolonged amenorrhea occurs, the possibility of pregnancy should be evaluated.
Hear that? Irregular bleeding. Meaning, you will BLEED UNTIL YOU FUCKING COLLAPSE. What sadistic bastard created these pills that make you bleed constantly? No wonder it's called birth control, you can't have any sex if you're bleeding constantly.
Now anyone who really knows me, knows about my history with birth control. I took Ortho Novum 7/7/7 and lost all my body hair, including eyebrows! I was walking around like a shaved rat and people thought I was going nuts. I've taken virtually every birth control pill known to man and LoEstrin was the ONLY one that worked and didn't make me nuts. So after a brief stint with that Ortho Micronor bullshit, I've gone back to my LoEstrin.
Oh how I missed you LoEstrin! That Ortho (ortho brands make me lose hair!) shot my blood pressure up to 160/90 when my bp should be 130/80 (for my size) My doctor told me to STOP taking and start sunday on the new LoEstrin.
Oh a good note, I've lost a total of 20 pounds since last year. Whoo rah!!
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