A Reminder

Being a black woman in America is not an easy thing. One major thing is, people never let you forget that you are a black woman. Often I am asked questions starting with, "as a black woman..." Why not ask me how I feel as a person period?

I had another moment in which I was clearly reminded that not only was I a black woman, that I was supposedly a ghetto black woman.

I have been unemployed going on 2 years. I have constantly searched for work during these two years I have been not working. I got my Insurance Producer license and even that crapped out because at the time I got it, that's when the recession REALLY hit hard. Of course no one was purchasing insurance during a recession!

It's getting really hard, so I decided to see what social services I would be eligible to receive. After filling out an online application, I was phoned and told I had an interview the next day. After having to wait in a filled lobby for almost an hour, I was summoned into the interview room.

The second I came into the room, the caseworker (note, she was black also) started speaking to me in a manner that I could only describe as borderline abusive. Now, I sympathized with the woman because you had to look at the number of people she was dealing with on a daily basis, so I brushed it off. But the longer the interview went on, the more abusive she became.

I'm reaching boiling point and ready to haul off and verbally pimp slap her into the middle of next month. She started "telling" me about programs that'll help women of my age, with kids get their GED.

Her: We do have programs that will assist women with kids from 20-40's go back to school and get their GED.

Me: Wait a second. I don't have kids and I've already graduated high school. (note I'm saying this with an eyebrow cocked at her)

Her: Oh...well maybe you can take some college classes at the community college.

Me: (both eyebrows raised now) I graduated college in 1999!

The next question damn near pissed me off because of course I was LYING about finishing high school and going to college.

Her: (with more attitude than before) Oh really? What college did you go to?

Me: (damn near with a snarl) University of Minnesota. Not the one in Minneapolis, but the one in Morris.

We're damn near about to start thumping in this office at this point, but what amazed me was the complete 180 she did upon learning I was college educated. The abusive, belittling tone completely left her voice and now she was actually trying to be nice to me. At this point, she already soured any chance she had with me believing she was a decent individual. I was sick to my stomach and ready to just walk out.

I don't know what made me more ill: The fact that she prejudged me before even speaking to me or that she was a black woman herself and would KNOW about being prejudged especially given that it was the social service office. (aka the aid place)

The nail in the coffin was that even on unemployment, I make too much money to join any social service available in the city. Maybe if I pump out 4 kids and don't work, I could get access to all the aid and health care I need. That's a damn shame within itself.

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