As far as the weight thing, I've lost a total of 34 pounds so far and people are starting to recognize it. I ran into a friend I haven't seen since last year and they noticed it immediately. Totally made my day!
My workout consists of 15-25 minutes of bike riding, depending on how sore I am because of the RA and then working with weights on my upper or lower body. I alternate between upper and lower, doing two days of upper and two days of lower. I'm currently working with 12.5/15 lbs free weights and on the lat pull down, I'm at 110lbs. Lower body I'm at 100lbs. I hope to start bench pressing soon and I'm going to start at maybe 40 to 50lbs.
I am totally loving the way my body is starting to tone up, my ass is lifting up and getting much rounder. My saddlebags are damn near non-existent and my biceps are starting to tone up, as is my shoulders. I even got muscle in my forearms! I'm still fat, but it's totally different than before. I now have some shape and substance versus just being everywhere. I only wish I'd started working out sooner. I hope to purchase a bike next summer and start using that as another mean to exercise also.
As far as my relationships, I simply choose to not be in one for now. Men just require too much of my mental energy and I need all the energy to do this Masters program. I still talk to the guy I met in April, but nothings really came of that. We just chit chat occasionally. I'm still running into that old stand by: Treat a man like a King and he'll shit on you. Treat a man like shit and he'll love your dirty draws. I will NEVER understand this mindset, but I sure would love to!
I was with my ex for six years and during those six years he rarely said I love you and pretty much neglected me. Now that he's left me, he pressing me hard like I'm made of platinum! I've been really taking time to examine myself to find my fatal flaw. I believe it's that I'm too laid back. I don't cause conflict, if I find that someone is just too irritating, I simply disappear. I don't let people know that they've hurt me, I just disappear.
I learned to censor myself at a very young age, my mother often told me about how young ladies don't speak a certain way. I have a tendency to speak my mind and not sugar coat what I say. So instead of sugar coating, I just disappear. It seems so many of these men today are so sensitive that anything I say comes across as being a Bastard. (there's that word again) People get so caught up in their feelings, they don't hear what's being said. The truth is the truth and nothing can soften it or make it syrupy sweet and non hurting.
I'm still learning about myself and slowly navigating through this world. I may just wind up doing it alone.
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